Did you know that the average turkey has 3,500 feathers at maturity?  Would you like some more semi-interesting turkey day trivia?  Well, then suck down these

      Top Little-Known Thanksgiving Facts!Turkey

 

--Cranberry sauce is neither "cranberry" nor "sauce" . . . but actually a gelatinous compound used by Nike for running shoe insoles. 

--44 million Americans will travel with their families this Thanksgiving.  None of them will enjoy it.

 --At the first Thanksgiving meal, Indians gave the pilgrims pumpkins . . . and pilgrims gave the Indians casinos.

--Turkey stuffing can consist of cornbread, rice, fruit, and in some parts of Missouri . . . methamphetamine. 

--Thanksgiving was invented by the NFL to make Americans watch the Detroit Lions. 

--General Petraeus always grabs all the breasts and thighs . . . before sitting down for some turkey.

 --President Obama doesn't just pardon a turkey . . . he also gives it food stamps, free health care and subsidized housing.

 --Mitt Romney's annual tradition is to serve turkey to the poor, then mock them with his rich friends behind closed doors. 

--There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who serve giblet gravy. 

--The holiday will cease to exist soon, since the average person under 20 is completely unaware of the word "Thanks." 

--If you're meeting your date's parents for the first time, a great way to break the ice is shouting out, "So . . . how about that Obama?" 

--It's not the turkey that makes you so sleepy . . . it's your sad, pathetic, exhausting life. 

--The Lions play on Thanksgiving because they want to give the people of Detroit one less thing to be thankful for. 

--Pimps from the 1970s liked to celebrate the holiday by eating a Jive Turkey. 

--In 1989, President George H.W. Bush was the first president to officially pardon a turkey.  Sadly, this is considered his greatest accomplishment as president. 

--The morning after the first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims rushed to stores for great deals on muskets and belts with huge buckles. 

--If you eat cranberry sauce and Pop Rocks at the same time, you'll explode. 

--Black Friday has now been replaced with Ditch Your Family To Buy A Cheap Xbox Thursday. 

--The football games always suck.  You just don't realize it because you're asleep. 

--Each year, your intense hatred for your extended family deepens. 

--There are now more Americans with turkey necks than there are on turkeys.